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Their openness isn't a license to bed everything in sight—respect and discretion rule. D., professor of psychology at the University of Washington and co-author of The Myth of Monogamy.

"Having an open relationship can work really well for some people," he says.

He knew his girlfriend, Elizabeth*, wasn't faithful, but he came to terms with it—or so he thought—because she always brought home girls for him. I never had a relationship like that, but then it started to get to me," he says. I didn't like that she wanted to share me." Although they still hook up every now and then (extra girl included), Philip and Elizabeth are no longer together.

Others, however, have actually made the "whatever" concept work.

"My high school sweet- heart followed me to college, so it wasn't hard to stay faithful there," he says.

"At the same time, they'll be like, ‘Damn, I wish I had a relationship like yours,'" he says.

Call them cheaters, swingers, or "whatever couples"—the bottom line is these couples buck monogamy for a more open approach to their relationship.

Sex with another person is allowed, but it's not flaunted or discussed outside the household. THE SCIENCE OF MONOGAMY "There are a wide variety of open-relationship models out there, and they can vary drastically from one couple to another," says David Barash, Ph.

"If she gets something she likes, she'll stick with it." "People are stuck on what's normal, what's right, what's wrong," Pitbull adds. A couple from Kansas probably can't even begin to imagine the kind of stuff I've done or the type of relationship I have.

What counts at the end of the day is everybody being happy." DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL Once upon a time, if you lived in a small town, your options for the opposite sex were limited.

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